8-6 - Yesterday's Love Story
By: Tahlia Hein (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Disclaimer: Star Trek: Voyager, its
characters and related properties are Registered Trademarks of
Paramount Pictures. No infringement of Paramount's copyrights
is intended. Voyager Virtual Season 8 (VS8) is a non-profit endeavor.
The unique characters and milieu of VS8 are the property of the
VS8 producers and individual authors. This story is the property
of the author. Please do not repost without permission.
summer night air was hot and sticky, its weight bearing down upon
her shoulders as if it were a burden of some kind. It was, in
a way, the way it was hard to move through its dense content without
a small bead of sweat forming at your brow. The several layers
of dark, heavy fabric draped across the lines of her body did
not help matters, either, simply adding to the dense air's burden
upon her shoulders. At least, she noted with a twinge of satisfaction,
she had chosen to wear a dress with far shorter sleeves than she
had intended, as well as keeping her hair off her neck, or this
journey from the huddled masses of people would never have been
father's presence occupied the large space to her right. He was
a large man, somewhat intimidating to those who had yet to experience
his friendly demeanor. His face exuded confidence and finesse,
but decked out in the gray uniform; he commanded a presence that
you couldn't help but notice.
was proud: proud of her father, proud of her state, proud of President
Davis and the Army.
dreadful out here," her father said. "Remind me again
why we're here?"
smiled. "Because, Daddy, you said the people were going to
your head. Besides," she sighed, "I always enjoy a little
peace and quiet with you."
father smiled. "This party is for you, honey, you and Thomas,
and you're not even in there to enjoy it."
know," she said, her voice almost a whisper. She smiled again,
this time with slightly less enthusiasm and slightly more of a
sigh. Yes, she knew this party was for her, she had only been
reminded about fifteen times today by her mother, her sister,
Thomas' mother and sister, and now her father was jumping on the
bandwagon. She knew there was no hope for her.
returned her gaze to the darkened horizon line. The sun had set
an hour ago, leaving small traces of light along the line where
the sky and the land became one. On a not-too-distant patch of
land, somewhere bordering the nearest edge of their property,
she spotted the small lights, swaying back and forth.
she asked, her eyes still fixed on the strange lights, "do
you see those lights, along the West end?"
glanced over to her father quick enough to see his eyes squint,
his mind studying the strange illuminations. "Yes, they appear
to be a line of men. I can't be quite sure at this distance."
your men are coming to offer their congratulations," she
suggested with a smile. Her father led a regiment of 1000 men,
and had wheedled his way out of duty for one night to attend his
daughter's engagement party. He had joked earlier that some of
the men would allow him to leave only if he allowed them to join
him, a prospect she was not sure was entirely false.
one to pass up guests, she raised her arm, waving it back and
forth. "Hello!" she called to the men walking along
the property, "Boys! Care to join the party?"
sound of eager footsteps could be heard approaching, and she turned
to her father, a smile crossing her face at the contentment that
was her father's face. But as the soldiers drew closer, she watched
the contentment slip into surprise, and then horror.
His tone was wispy, fluttered, a mannerism she would hardly expect
from such a man as her father. She felt his hand grasp her bare,
sticky arm, its grip urging her to move.
she asked, confused at her father's sudden reaction.
aren't my men," she heard him say as he attempted to pull
her through the balcony doors. As she struggled to gain understanding
of the situation, her eyes flicked towards the advancing men,
and she, too, became a picture of horror, as the lights from the
house fell upon the approaching men in blue coats.
back was turned when they started shooting; her first instinct
was to duck, and she did. He was pulling her through the house,
ahead of her, items falling off shelves as stray bullets hit them,
shattering pieces of wood into splinters on the floor. His head
turned to see the men, his whole body turned for just a split
second, and he was in front of her, and then... he wasn't.
was still holding her arm, and his fall dragged her down as well.
Immediately she saw the red pooling under his clean gray uniform
and near the hairline. Her reaction was to cry out, and she did.
she cried, ducking her head as bullets continued to sail. She
shook her father, but he remained limp on the floor. She gathered
his head and upper body into her arms, herself now sitting, her
beautiful dress spread across the floor and already stained with
his blood. His head wound bled onto the bodice, but she didn't
seem to notice. "Daddy?" She shook him again. "Daddy,
finality of his response - or lack thereof - weighed upon her
shoulders even as she felt the men entering the drawing room,
their heavy footsteps vibrating as they walked along the wood
floors. She felt them staring down at her. Her first thought was
whether or not they were going to shoot her, too, her second being
if the guests on the other side of the house were even aware of
he..." she heard one of the men ask.
eyes never left the prone body. "Yes." Her voice was
cold, harsh, qualities that surprised Sarah herself. She looked
up at them, watched as they lowered their guns and bowed their
heads, as if they were actually sorry for what they had done.
saw one of the soldiers in the back. "We're sorry,"
he said, and his innocence shattered the menace of the other soldiers.
He looked as if he had just tagged along for the ride, which was
a thought that made Sarah more disgusted. She felt no pity for
the brown-haired Union soldier.
back to hell," she barked.
men, surprisingly, backed off, leaving all but the brown-haired
one to stand, dumbstruck, at the site of all the blood and carnage
he had inflicted. Sarah stared at him, her eyes narrowed as she
studied him with anger. He seemed...familiar, in a way she couldn't
Janeway awoke with a start.
night's rest had hardly been a restful one, and had claimed last
night as yet another wasted night of sleep for Kathryn Janeway.
The turbolift doors opened to reveal a bridge full of well-rested
crew members, and she hated that she could not join them. Her
dreams had been vivid in the past few weeks, and while vivid was
sometimes nice, Janeway's definition of vivid did not include
watching the same man die and the same woman cradle his corpse
in her arms night after night.
she did every morning after these peculiar dreams, she tried in
vain to search her own memory banks, trying to place either of
the hauntingly familiar faces to a person she had once met or
known. The woman, whose delicate hands always held her father's
dying body, held a level of familiarity Janeway associated with
family members, though she couldn't place the woman as a cousin
or nephew. The man, decked in a blue Union uniform, held familiarity
as well, but for him, he seemed more a friend than a family member.
Whatever he was, or had been, Janeway simply could not place the
was no expert on Earth history (although she wouldn't call herself
ignorant either), but she had been able to pin down the time period
of her peculiar dreams: the Civil War. Her past experience with
Q had helped her assessment; she suspected her dreams were more
likely the product of an overactive imagination working off weeks
of sleep deprivation rather than Q's search for a good time.
fact that she'd been called to the bridge a full hour before her
duty shift began didn't seem to ease her fears of sleep deprivation.
She had just sat down on her couch to enjoy a warm cup of coffee
when Harry's hail came intruding into her quarters. It was just
turning out to be one of those mornings, she thought.
she said, having journeyed across the Bridge to the ensign's station.
wasn't able to finish her sentence. She didn't need to. Harry
could identify the look in Janeway's eye, the glimmer of annoyance
at being dragged from her quarters early. But he couldn't help
have picked up what appears to be an inhabited planetoid about
two lightyears from here."
face showed the awe and surprise she was feeling. "Two lightyears?"
The ensign nodded. "Why didn't this show up on earlier scans?"
ensign could only shrug. "It's as if it's just...there."
turned around. "Why does that not surprise me around here?"
she commented quietly, hoping to keep the comment to herself,
though she knew she hadn't succeeded, as the smiles of a few ensigns
to her right caught her eye. Good, she thought, better to keep
some humor around here.
took her seat, nodding only briskly to Chakotay as she sat down,
an acknowledgement of their recently strained relationship. She
kept her eyes straight ahead, trained on the head of the lieutenant
occupying the helm. It was an attempt to keep from locking eyes
with the Commander, knowing full well such a brief confrontation
could send her hint of a good mood back to where it came from.
can we hail them?"
was a moment of pause before Harry answered. "There appears
to be a small concentration of inhabitation on one of the western
continents. I'm opening a channel."
took a breath, finally delivering her standard greeting.
alien that appeared on the screen was, at first, somewhat menacing,
and Janeway felt her throat constrict at the notation that they
may have encountered yet another violent species. While only his
upper body was visible (she wasn't sure which gender this alien
represented, so she could only guess), Janeway could only assume
this individual was very tall, and very slender. Sleek was a word
she might have used.
first thing she noticed were the dark eyes that somehow appeared
to be glowing. In fact, she noticed, his entire green face seemed
to give off a glow, much like an angel in Earth's ancient western
religions. His mouth was small, and his nose was practically nonexistent,
save for two small flaps between his eyes and mouth. Atop his
long and narrow face was not hair, but rather a protruding ridge,
which extended about two inches above his head, and, Janeway assumed,
around the back. He wore what appeared to be a robe of some kind,
which Janeway thought might bunch along the waist, though it was
out of sight.
he spoke, his voice was deep and yet soothing. "You are strangers,
Captain Janeway of Voyager." The alien's calm and accurate
comment soothed Janeway in a strange manner, and she could only
nod a response. His mouth curled up in a gesture that Janeway
thought resembled a smile. "You are not hostile toward us,
so we welcome you. I am Supervisor Lokal, and we are the Inryeth."
sighed. It was always nice to see a friendly face. "Supervisor,
we are curious why we didn't detect you earlier."
smiled again. "We are protective of our colony, Captain Janeway.
We have many an enemy who would rather see us destroyed, and they
have often employed the services of other vessels. Forgive us
if we are too cautious, but Nareth is all my people have now."
nodded. "Of course."
tone changed to one of concern. "Captain Janeway, your ship
has seen much of this space in too little time. Perhaps a visit
to our colony would provide a break from combat?"
sat, stunned. "How did you..."
once again smiled. "Forgive me, Captain Janeway, it appears
I have acted rudely. My people have abilities...I believe you
call them 'telepathic'? I am sorry if I have intruded."
sighed again, knowing somehow that Lokal meant no harm. Perhaps,
she thought, I have 'abilities' of my own. "Supervisor, perhaps
you could help us. We've been trying to identify this part of
space using our available star charts, but we haven't had much
luck. Since you are inhabitants of this space, would it be possible
for you to provide us with more accurate star charts?"
contemplated the request for a moment, his face finally registering
the faint beginnings of a smile. "In good time, Captain Janeway."
He paused. "In the meantime, if you would assemble a group
of your crew members, I would be happy to escort you on a tour
took the deflection of her question with a short sigh, then quickly
smiled. "I'll send a team down to meet you, Supervisor. It's
always nice to see a friendly face."
the shimmer of the transporter faded, the first thing that hit
Janeway was the humid air of the... her eyes surveyed the area,
finally settling on "cave" as an appropriate title.
Perhaps "underground tunnel system" was more accurate,
seeing as the room they stood in branched off into five different
portals, each one leading somewhere.
turned her head to survey the team that had beamed down with her.
To her right, two ensigns from Engineering had removed their tricorders,
and were scanning the cavern and surrounding tunnels, Janeway
suspected. To her left stood Tuvok, his own tricorder out. Only
Janeway remained a slave to her five senses.
sound of footsteps crushing the small stones that covered the
ground, and the shadow of a light from one of the adjoining tunnels,
alerted Janeway to the approach of the colony's inhabitants. Leading
the group from a tunnel directly in front of them were two tall
aliens, both dressed in long brown robes, their heads bowed. In
their hands they carried long rods, in which a light source of
some kind was attached. It swung with each of their long footsteps.
the light bearers, Supervisor Lokal walked, followed by three
others Janeway could only assume were attendants. Janeway's earlier
description of angelic qualities was only heightened as she saw
these people in full regard. The group came to a stop in front
of Janeway and her team, and she couldn't help but marvel at how
they towered over the Voyager crew members, measuring something
approaching seven feet, Janeway guessed. While the faces of the
light bearers were hidden as they remained bowed, Lokal and the
three others had glowing complexions.
their robes were a dark brown, gathered at the waist by a belt
of some kind. Janeway noticed Lokal's hands folded neatly across
his torso, a sign of pleasure, she hoped.
Janeway," Lokal spoke, "I see you have brought friends."
smiled. "Yes, Supervisor. These are some of my crew members-"
had meant to introduce the away team one by one to Lokal and his
group, but the Supervisor's deep voice cut her off. "Ensign
Molina and Ensign Ashmore," he said to the men on her left.
His eyes fell upon Tuvok. "Lieutenant Commander Tuvok."
Lokal smiled again, looking again at Janeway. "Welcome."
away team stood stunned, and Lokal's smile soon faded. "I
am so deeply sorry, Captain Janeway. We do not receive many visitors
then proceeded to introduce the group standing behind him, two
of them, Janeway learned, were equitable to engineers. "With
your permission, Captain Janeway, they may escort your two ensigns
to a cavern rich in deuterium supplies." Janeway was stunned
for a moment, and then realized Lokal must have sensed the ensigns'
interest in the deuterium traces they picked up on Voyager.
nodded, and the two Inryeth engineers turned on their heels, gesturing
for the ensigns to follow. She watched the four disappear into
the tunnel from which the group had first emerged. Her gaze returned
to Lokal, who was intently studying Tuvok.
have a very interesting crew, Captain Janeway," Lokal said,
his gaze still upon Tuvok. Janeway quickly thanked him as his
gaze shifted to her. Immediately, her defenses went up, and Lokal
gasped slightly. "I am sorry, Captain Janeway." She
assured Lokal that no harm was intended, and he suggested a tour
through the underground colony. Janeway agreed with a nod to Tuvok.
humid air quickly gave way to a cooler rush as they entered one
of the tunnels. Looking up, Janeway judged the tunnel to be at
least eight feet high, an accommodation to the Inryeths' unusual
height. The floor soon changed from the natural stone and sand
of the cavern to the cool, uniform tile of a manmade structure.
Her boots, Tuvok's as well, thudded on the tile, but Lokal's made
no noise, despite the similar appearance.
me, Supervisor, why keep this colony hidden?" Tuvok's voice
seemed almost to echo on the natural walls of the tunnel.
are a gentle people," Lokal replied, "but we somehow
managed to acquire some enemies along the way. It is one of the
reasons we are alone in this colony, and why we choose to hide
ourselves." Lokal's answer was cryptic to Janeway, but she
suspected the tone had been an obvious gesture at giving and taking
with the truth.
attention, however, was directed at Tuvok, and the suspicion passed
him by. "You and I are an alike pair, Commander."
smiled. "Your idea of a *katra* - it is very similar to our
*nula*." Tuvok's interest was piqued; Janeway could tell
as his eyebrows shot up. Obviously, Lokal, too, picked up on the
interest. "We believe each person's experiences reside in
their *nula*, which records the events of a person's many lives."
Lokal's eyes shifted to Janeway. "Captain, I believe you
call it a soul."
smiled as she processed the similarity. Lokal continued. "In
order for one to live a productive life, one must embrace the
full *nula* within them through a series of meditations, in which
the experiences embody themselves in dreams that teach a lesson."
Lokal's eyes seemed to glow as he spoke. "It truly is a wonderful
experience. These dreams... they are windows to a past one must
witness in order to move forward."
mind suddenly conjured up the image of the young woman in her
dreams. Was this dream more than the product of an overactive
imagination? Was it part of her *nula*, as Lokal thought it to
be? And then her mind shook the idea, dismissing it as simply
a thought brought on by the suggestive nature of Lokal's words.
continued forward, his deep voice explaining the origin of the
very caverns they walked in. And yet, what her mind couldn't shake
was the eerie familiarity of the Union soldier's eyes.
doors to her quarters closed with a singular swoosh, leaving Janeway
to stand among the darkness and the silence of the room. It suited
her, the day's activities and excitement still buzzing around
her head in a frenzy she still had not recovered from. She made
her way across the room, finally falling upon her couch.
was a very generous man, and he was eager to show off his colony
to Janeway and Tuvok. The mining operations, the dining halls,
the artisan wings, the housing wings, the power center, the temple.
Her head spun as she tried to recount the day's footsteps, her
mind boggled by the endless system of tunnels and caverns that
Lokal seemed to know by heart.
remembered the first place they had visited: the power center.
Lokal had been so proud of their methods of power. He explained
how the original inhabitants of the colony had dismantled the
ion reactors in their fleet of ships and reconfigured them to
use as a source of power for the colony without the reviously
detectable excess emissions. He seemed so proud of those reactors,
despite the fact that it was probable he had never lived to see
the process completed.
sighed, her head leaning back to rest on the top of the couch.
What she needed was the caffeine a fresh cup of coffee would ensure;
yet her legs seemed too tired to budge. Her eyes slipped shut
as she yawned deeply, but she fought her brain to open her eyes
once more. She knew what sleep would bring - more dreams of death
and heartache. It was hardly a prospect she looked forward to.
Janeway knew she'd have to sleep eventually. Of course, she could
go to the Doctor and ask for a stimulant to keep her awake, but
she knew his inquires would force her to reveal those dreams,
and the last thing she needed was another reason for the Doctor
to be nagging her. She settled on coffee, resolving to get up.
paused for a moment, enjoying the silence and the darkness. How
comfortable it was...
didn't know what she was doing in the barn at such an early morning
hour, and yet she found herself here, among the hay and the unbearable
stench of the horses. The solitude of the wooden walls was, in
some strange way, comforting to her.
to find an escape from the influence her father had over the household
was hard, and since reminders of his death were not something
she wanted now, she retreated to the only place she knew his influence
had not reached: the stables. He had always thought that the keeping
of so many horses was unnecessary, despite the fact that his only
daughter enjoyed the beauty of the black stallions. Her mother
had indulged her pleasure, but her father rarely stepped foot
inside the walls. This made it the perfect place to escape.
fact that her appearance was far from ladylike pushed Sarah to
retreat to a quiet place as well. She was dressed in simply her
white shift, with the undergarments to riding britches underneath,
an outfit that was hardly ladylike. Rested against her bare arms
was one of her father's rifles, which she carried for protection.
Some of the slaves had reported Union soldier creeping around
the premises, and Sarah wasn't willing to be ambushed.
sound of metal tins slamming shut drew Sarah to attention, and
the rifle was immediately cocked and pointed in front of her.
Her eyes scanned the stables she stood in, finding nothing resembling
tin came crashing to ground behind her, and she spun around, not
surprisingly finding a figure crouched behind her, near one of
the shelves. He wore a dirty blue uniform, and the rifle was trained
on the small of his back.
move and you die," she announced.
soldier looked up, and Sarah gasped. The brown-haired soldier
was the same that had remained in her drawing room four days earlier,
the same soldier who had been present as his comrades shot her
father for no apparent reason. She was disgusted yet again.
me one good reason why I should spare your life, Yankee,"
soldier now stood to his full height, in which he nearly towered
over her, and Sarah found herself staring into the deepest green
eyes she had ever seen. It was strange, seeing such green eyes
on a brown-haired fellow. And then she noticed her lapse in judgment,
and straightened the rifle again.
arms remained limp by his side, the evidence of his morning raid
- a small tin full of grain - still hot in his hand. When he spoke,
his voice was as innocent and cautious and four days earlier.
"There ain't any," he said, his voice thick with a Northern
own Southern drawl took moments to respond. "Takin' a bullet
for the good of yer country. How patriotic," she commented,
sarcastic and bitter.
didn't quite know why she did what she did next. She felt herself
lowering the rifle, pointing at the ground. She watched the soldier,
but his expression remained unchanged.
before I change ma mind," she remarked, but the soldier remained
still. She wasn't sure if he was scared or just being defiant.
"You're just gonna stand there?"
soldier smiled. "Do you actually know how to use that rifle,
stared at the soldier, her face turned in anger. "Yeah,"
she replied. "My father taught me how to shoot."
memory was obviously lost on the soldier, despite the fact that
he himself had witnessed the end of that man's life. Instead,
he smiled. "Ain't exactly ladylike."
didn't know why, but she found herself laughing. She watched as
the soldier extended his hand. "Levi Sullivan," he introduced.
regarded the man for a moment before returning the gesture. "Sarah
he said, grabbing her hand, "that's quite a rock you got
there." She tried to withdraw her hand in a fit of embarrassment,
but Levi's hand had such a grasp that it only tightened with her
movement. She had, of course, chosen to shake with the hand displaying
Thomas' engagement ring. And while she had never before been ashamed
to show off the gorgeous piece of jewelry, at this meeting, it
hardly seemed appropriate. Her eyes immediately darted to the
engaged myself," he continued, and Sarah suddenly became
interested again, not feeling quite as alone. "Got a girl
waitin' for me back in Philadelphia."
Sarah added, at a loss for anything else to say. The moment was,
by all accounts, extremely awkward. She caught a quick glance
at Levi's face, and somehow felt a slight comfort to see he, too,
was at a loss for things to say.
she said, quietly, "you can let go of my hand."
seemed to be startled out of some kind of trance. "What?"
His eyes found his own hand in hers, and quickly released it.
"Sorry," he added with embarrassment.
Sarah finally said, "no harm intended, but you ain't exactly
the soldier-type." It was true, the man's innocence and naivety
betrayed even the air of a green soldier. He was in his mid-twenties,
much like Sarah, but he still retained the innocence of a young
Levi answered, studying the floor and kicking various stones around
the floor, "I guess I'm not. I'm just along for the ride,
enlist then? You feel you gotta prove yourself to someone?"
She smiled. "Impress that girl of yours?"
gettin' killed?" he answered, looking up with a smile in
his eyes and on his face. Sarah enjoyed the brief delight on the
man's face. "No, it's not about that. Got to fight for what
I believe in, you know?"
she replied quietly, "I guess."
Levi continued, unaware of Sarah's discomfort. "I mean, it's
like where I'm from, everything ain't perfect but at least we
treat everyone like they people. But here? Nah, no one's equal
here." He paused. "What they do here is wrong, I tell
ya. Workin' 'em and beatin' someone's back like that? That ain't
moral. That's the work of immoral people. Savages."
suddenly felt familiar anger boiling in her veins yet again. "Savages,
eh?" She glared into Levi's eyes. "You think I'm a savage?"
realization of his error became apparent in Levi's eyes, and he
tried to soothe her rising anger, but Sarah was in no mood for
out," she replied relatively calmly. Levi began to protest,
but she raised her voice, and the rifle she still gripped in her
hand. "Don't make me say it again."
defeated and genuinely wounded, Levi turned and retreat out the
barn, a small metal tin of grain still clutched in his hand. That,
and an internal wound were all that he had to show for his excursion.
Sarah thought, why does that not surprise me...
awoke with a start, the haunting mirror of her own words still
echoing in her brain. At first, her mind was relieved to have
a different dream to ponder over, but the intrigue soon fell into
the same dead-ends as before. But there was something else; someone
else's words were collecting in her brain, asking her, urging
to Janeway. Janeway, please respond."
she sat up, realizing she had fallen asleep on her couch. Her
hands slapped the combadge still on her uniform. "I'm here,
one of the reactors on the surface of colony seems to be malfunctioning."
sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "I'm on my way, Harry.
doors to the bridge slid open, and Janeway had no more than a
foot out of the turbolift when the ship shuddered. The sudden
movement threw Janeway's balance, and she had only a matter of
seconds to brace herself against the bulkhead next to Tuvok's
Janeway barked as she walked to her seat, trying with each step
to compensate for the constant shudders that rippled the ship,
the klaxons of a red alert casting the bridge into momentary shadows
one of the ion reactors inside the colony, Captain," Harry
replied. "Sensors detected on overload two minutes ago."
Janeway was sure those reactors had been in fine condition when
she had visited earlier. "What was that disruption that rocked
wave of alpha particles, probably a result of the reactor overload,"
Harry replied again.
you hail the colony?" Janeway asked.
response," Harry said gravely.
stared at the screen for a moment. What had once been a clear
atmosphere was now a blanket of crackling radiation. What looked
to be the heaviest oncentration was centered over the continent
where the colony was located. She thought back to what Lokal had
told her and Tuvok earlier. She remembered he had mentioned protocols
for such an occurrence as this; at the time, she hadn't paid as
much attention as she might have hoped.
she asked, "do you remember what the Supervisor told us about
the overload protocols?"
contemplated the question for a moment, his mind trying as well
to recall Lokal's words. "The Supervisor mentioned that the
power center and surrounding wings were protected by a layer of
rock in which radiation was impenetrable."
Janeway said, her body turned to face the ensign. "I want
you to lock onto all life signs in the power center and in a fifty-meter
radius, and transport them to sickbay."
fingers flew over the controls. "I've got fifteen, initializing
transport." Janeway's eyes flitted back to the viewscreen
for a moment before warning signals emanated from Harry's consol.
"Something is wrong, Captain."
the alpha particles," Chakotay said. "At this distance,
the transporter beam only travels a few kilometers before it degrades."
Janeway barked, and the helmsman turned in his chair, "can
you move us closer?"
would not be wise," Tuvok replied from his station. "I
am detecting high levels of gamma radiation closest to the planet's
atmosphere. If we attempt to transport at a closer range, the
structural integrity of the ship will be damaged."
paused for a moment, contemplating her options. She couldn't just
turn around and let the radiation kill those fifteen people, but
moving any closer would risk the lives of her own ship. The moment
was tense, as she weighed the importance of both groups.
even if we could get closer, would the beam still degrade?"
he replied, "no. The concentrations of alpha particles are
lower, and gamma radiation doesn't degrade a transporter beam
the way alpha particles do."
close would we have to get?"
eyes glanced quickly to Tuvok before he answered. "500 kilometers,
800 maybe." His voice was hesitant. "But with the shields
down, the damage to the ship would be-"
hand cut off the rest of Harry's words. "Tom, I want you
to move us within 500 kilometers," she ordered.
Chakotay barked. "You're going to tear this ship apart!"
eyes turned to him, and she glared deeply into his, her stare
angry and defiant. "I'm not going to stand by and watch these
people die, Chakotay. If you're going to question my orders, then
I suggest you get off my bridge." She turned back to Tom.
"Do it, Lieutenant."
reigned as Tom announced he was moving closer. Consoles behind
her began to warn of the increased stress on structural integrity.
The shudders of the ship soon became more and more violent rocks,
and Janeway was forced to grip the edges of her seat to keep from
kilometers," Tom announced.
transport," Harry said. No one spoke as they waited, and
the ship tossed and turned as the radiation took aim at the structural
integrity. "Got them! All fifteen are in sickbay!"
couldn't help the smile that formed over her face. Her eyes swept
back from Harry to the viewscreen, momentarily falling on Chakotay's
face, who only sat unemotional, staring back.
get us out of here," she ordered.
doors to sickbay slid open, revealing somewhat of a chaotic atmosphere.
All the biobeds were filled with injured Inryeth; where beds were
not available, the wounded simply stood. Most had only scarred
hands and faces from what Janeway guessed were radiation burns,
nothing that the Doctor couldn't treat with a dermal regenerator.
eyes fell upon one prone figure lying lifelessly on the main biobed,
the Doctor hunched over him. His once glowing green skin was now
burned and horribly blistered, and Janeway noticed with horror
that it was almost the color of his dark brown robe. She could
only guess that he was one of the engineers near the core when
turned toward the familiar deep voice, finding Lokal among some
of his injured colonists. She noticed with a twinge of humor that
he appeared to be the only one without a burn to the face or hands.
This was, of course, because Lokal had not been transported with
the injured, but rather beamed aboard afterwards to meet with
the survivors. While the Inryeth did not have it in their capacity
to smile as a human did, Janeway swore that his face glowed more
than it usually did, and that the corners of his mouth were upturned
in a smiling fashion.
Janeway," he said again, his long and slender fingers curling
around her own in a gesture of friendship, "I do not know
if I can begin to convey my appreciation for what you did."
I don't think that would be necessary-"
threw his hands up in mock annoyance. "You risked your ship
and your crew to save the lives of total strangers." He sighed
with content. "Thanks and appreciation are indeed necessary.
I do not know how this tragedy would have played out, had you
not been here to rescue us."
smiled. He was surely a friendly face. "Our doctor is treating
the injured, and some of my crew have offered their help in containment
nodded, his eyes glancing up at Janeway's face when she failed
to say anything more. His dark eyes narrowed, and she suddenly
realized he was... she couldn't think of a better word than "scanning"
to describe his actions. "There is something else,"
he finally said. "Something about you, something you wish
to speak with me about."
bowed her head in slight embarrassment. "Yes," she acknowledged.
After another moment, her hand gestured to the sickbay doors,
asking silently if Lokal wished to join her for a walk. He nodded
his head in agreement.
walked down a corridor for a while in silence before Janeway finally
spoke. "Our conversation about a person's many lives, reincarnation...
it's very similar to the beliefs held by religions on my own planet
- Buddhism and Hinduism. That we as beings are born over and over
again because we fail to see the error in our ways, and thus must
relive each sequential life until we do."
glanced sideways towards Janeway. "I know comparisons of
beliefs is not why you wished to speak with me."
comment forced a small smile across Janeway's lips. "Actually,
I keep remembering what you said, about how you have meditations
that... manifest themselves as dreams." She paused, hoping
Lokal's abilities would fill in the rest of her concerns. But
he simply stared at her, eager for her next words. "I've
been having dreams of my own, but they aren't ordinary dreams.
I've been having the same one for days now, and only today has
it been different. But the people are the same...it's almost like
I'm watching a story unfold. They are that real." She noticed
that Lokal was still intently studying here, and she continued.
"These people...they feel so real I think I should know them,
recognize them, and yet I don't. But I still get the feeling like
was silence between them as Lokal thought. "Do you honestly
believe that these experiences are part of your *nula*?"
knew the question was not meant to ridicule her. Lokal simply
wanted to gauge her honest belief in such a thing as a *nula*.
"To be honest, Supervisor, I'm not sure what these dreams
are. But my mind can't seem to shake the things you said, and..."
needn't finish her thought, because she noticed Lokal to be smiling,
or something resembling a smile. "You want someone to come
up to you and tell you exactly what these experiences mean, don't
you?" The man let out a sound Janeway could only describe
as a chuckle. "You will get your answers, Captain,
you will get your answers in an appropriate time."
Log: It has been one week since the reactor overload on the Inryeth
colony, and the crew has been helpful in their assistance with
repairs. The atmosphere is almost completely purged of radiation,
and the power center and surrounding tunnels have been decontaminated.
The repair team estimates that by tomorrow, the Inryeth should
be able to return the center without the need for protective equipment.
senior staff had a visitor at their meeting: Supervisor Lokal.
He had been staying aboard Voyager since the overload, and would
stay until clean up and containment was complete. In a gesture
of goodwill, Janeway had allowed him to sit in on the meeting
with the promise of a substantial update on the progress of repairs.
her part, Janeway remained in her chair while Chakotay took charge
of a majority of the meetings, explaining as best as he could
the many repairs that had been completed. She simply was background,
providing comments here and there.
diagram of the colony's tunnel and cavern system had been pulled
up on the monitor. Lokal studied it intently. "This,"
Chakotay said, his finger pointing to the diagram, "is what
Voyager's sensors recorded of radiation levels before the accident."
He tapped a control, and the power center and surrounding tunnels
were highlighted in red. "This is what sensors recorded after
radiation is red?" Lokal asked, and Chakotay nodded.
tapped the monitor a second time, and the highlighted tunnels
all but disappeared, leaving only small traces of red in the power
center, around the overload reactor. "This is what sensors
recorded an hour ago."
glow from Lokal's face seemed to increase as his eyes studied
the monitor. "Your crew has done this much in only one week?"
he asked Chakotay, and the Commander nodded with a grin. Lokal
shook his head. "I do not know what to say, Commander."
isn't perfect," Chakotay replied, "but it's manageable."
wave of familiarity hit Janeway almost instantly, and she heard
a small and practically inaudible gasp escape her lips. Up until
now, while she had been able to recall the broadscaping events
of her dreams, she was not able to distinctly recall actual dialogue
between the young woman and the Union soldier. Yet, now, his voice
resonated in her mind. *Everything ain't perfect but at least
we treat people like they people.* Janeway didn't know what had
brought on such an eerie feeling, save for Chakotay's choice of
eyes darted up to see the senior staff staring at her, their eyes
filled with concerns. It had been Harry's voice that had pulled
her from her reverie.
sorry," Janeway apologized. There was another pause, and
the staff continued to stare. "What?"
only shook his head, his eyes finding the ground, and Janeway
knew he was muttering something inaudible under his breath. Harry
regarded him for a moment before speaking. "I asked if there
was anything you'd like to add."
didn't speak for a moment, her mind still contemplating the question.
"No," she finally replied. "You're all dismissed."
staff simply nodded, heading in their respective directions back
to their postings. Only Lokal remained after everyone left, taking
the time to study Janeway. But he said nothing, and he left the
briefing room before Janeway had the opportunity.
had let the briefing's events stew in her mind for the remainder
of the day, allowing her scientific nature to pick apart what
and why she had felt the way she did. Her rational sense spit
out a reason - of course the dreams were the connection, but not
because of some past life, or a suggestion of reincarnation. Instead,
her sleep deprivation (as a result of the unsettling emotions
the dreams produced) had caused her mind to play tricks on her.
It wasn't familiarity she felt, her scientific mind told her,
it was exhaustion.
as before, her mind simply could not shake Supervisor Lokal's
words, and the look he had given her before leaving the briefing
room. It was as if he knew exactly what she was feeling. It nagged
at her mind, which was why she found herself in front of his guest
quarters aboard Voyager, ringing the chime.
was a moment before the door slid open and the Supervisor stood
towering over her. He regarded her for a second, then stepped
from the doorway, gesturing for her to enter. She did so.
air in the guest quarters was silent for a few moments; Lokal
had taken a seat on the couch under the window, but Janeway chose
to stand. He was studying her again, as he often did of those
in his presence. Finally he spoke. "You wish to speak about
earlier today, no?"
she replied, only slightly stunned. Janeway knew that by now,
she shouldn't be surprised at the Supervisor's ability to verbalize
exactly what was going on in her mind, yet each time she was.
At first, it had seemed like an egregious invasion of her privacy,
the ability to keep her private thoughts at that diminishing in
his presence. But she knew it was not meant as a rude gesture;
it was his nature. And while she found it at times to be a disadvantage,
in such instances as this, lifting the burden of explaining herself
was always welcome. "In the briefing today, I had the feeling...
I felt as if the words being spoken I had already heard. Everything
Janeway was silent for a moment, her mind regaining its composure,
and she quickly nodded in agreement. A faint smile crossed Lokal's
lips. "Captain, I believe I may have a solution for you."
She knew her eyebrows had shot up at the remark, her interest
piqued. "I would like to guide you in a *dah-tel-nula*, one
of the meditations I spoke of. It might help clear your doubts
and concerns surrounding these dreams."
contemplated Lokal's suggestion. Her mind had always been open
to the possibility of a spiritual solution, however she had tried
to lean more toward a hypospray or something more scientific.
While she respected and abided by the religious customs of other
cultures, she had never been one to put much merit into them.
Yet here she was, discussing them as a solution as if they were
viable antibiotics. She wasn't sure if she truly believed that
a *nula* resided within in her, collecting her life experiences
of this and past lives. Nevertheless, she couldn't pass up the
opportunity to get a good night's rest.
she nodded with a smile toward Lokal. She had agreed.
to Lokal, in order for the meditation to produce a positive effect
on Janeway, she must first prepare herself. That entailed studying
the Inryeths' religious beliefs, in an attempt to understand what
she was about to experience. For this, Lokal had been able to
locate for her a copy of the *ku-vah-nula*, the spiritual texts
that detailed the origins of the *nula* and the meditations associated.
merely skimmed the *ku-vah-nula* that was given to her; even in
the reduced version Lokal had produced it was a book worthy of
a stack of four or five PADDs. The main idea that this text stressed
was the value of understanding one's *nula*. Any attempt by a
person to use his experiences for personal gain other than furtherance
of knowledge was irresponsible, and against the guiding principles
of the Inryeths' beliefs. The process was not a fool-safe one,
and positive results were almost never guaranteed. However, good-natured
intentions were almost always honored.
meditation Lokal had the intention of performing - a *dah-tel-nula*
- was one in which a person, as guided by a Master, was united
with an errant memory or experience in the form of a vision or
a dream. This meditation was used strictly as an introduction;
no higher level of knowledge other than the satisfaction warranted
by the meditation could be achieved strictly from this meditation.
That was what she wanted, Janeway thought. She had no intention
of transcending any energy or knowledge level. She simply wanted
to understand the driving feeling that often resonated after having
these vivid dreams.
had set a small cloth in the center of his guest quarters. He
instructed Janeway to sit on one side of the cloth, with him sitting
directly opposite her. The two empty sides were occupied by Tuvok
and T'Pel - Lokal had specifically requested they be present,
as he identified with their telepathic powers. He believed they
could aid in the creation of ideal meditation condition.
the center of the cloth, Lokal placed...to be truthful, Janeway
wasn't sure what the object was. It was an almost perfect rounded
oval, appearing to be a finely polished stone of some sort. It
was painted green, a color that almost exactly matched that of
the Inryeths' skin, with small brown stripes running in one direction,
appearing as if they might travel the entire circumference of
the object. Incidentally, the stripes were running in a vertical
direction so that they pointed at both Janeway and Lokal.
first, she had thought it to be simply an inanimate symbol in
which Lokal chanted over. However, a simple touch of Lokal's fingers
to the object, and the brown stripes began to glow. Janeway's
opinion of the object changed, judging it to be similar to Chakotay's
akoonah in its use in the meditation.
placed the palm of his right hand directly on top of the object,
the round shape fitting perfectly the shape of his palm, and his
long fingers extending far over. Janeway wondered if the object
had been made specifically for his use. He then instructed her
to place her own right hand over his own - which she did - in
an attempt to direct the proper energy to her. As if it were an
involuntary reflex, her eyes slipped shut and she felt her mind
slowly beginning to clear.
the lull in her thoughts, she heard Lokal's deep voice chanting
what she had read in the *ku-vah-nula*, his words summoning the
dreamy haze she suddenly felt washing over her body...
was a war raging in front of her home, on the edge of her property.
Sarah would pick her head up from behind the winged armchair,
and was able to see the flashes of discharging rifles. The air
held the searing aroma of battle, a mixture of death and gunpowder.It
burned her nostrils.
eyes drifted from the scene of battle to the rifle cradled in
her arms, to the wooden floors around her, finding immediately
a stained portion of the wood. Linny had tried her damnedest,
but the blood had pooled long enough to soak into the oak floors.
Now it stood silently, a reminder of this battle's first bloodshed
seven days tomorrow.
fighting had begun just over three hours ago; Sarah knew because
Linny and her sister had just started the cooking, and the sun
hadn't even begun to disappear over the horizon. But now it was
a mere trace along the horizon line of trees, its final rays mingling
with the clouds of gunpowder floating. Linny's family had retreated
to the wine cellar, keeping a watchful eye on Sarah's own family
- her older sister Laura and her young daughter, her mother Grace,
and her brother Adam, who had not even reached the age of eight.
Now, only Sarah remained in the house, her sense of loyalty to
her father charging her to guard the drawing room with her life.
As she sat there, her thoughts couldn't help but drift back to
Levi Sullivan. She wondered if he was in the battle that raged
before her, and she wondered if he was all right. And then her
mind reset itself, reminding her how he'd helped kill her father,
and how much she was supposed to hate him.
and his family had left for Richmond yesterday, after the funeral
services for her father had ended. They had left their sincere
apologies, and Sarah had heard Thomas muttering vows of revenge
against the Union army, something she thought had sounded like
enlistment. Even now, as death loomed in the distance, Sarah smiled
at the idea of a spoiled rich debutante like Thomas in battle,
a rifle on his arm. It was an absurd idea.
faint moaning coming from the hallway suddenly interrupted Sarah's
dwellings. Weapon in hand, she eased around from her position
behind the wing chair to the doorway. Taking a breath, she listened
to the moan again. It was a moan of pain, or at least she thought
it was. If a Yankee had crawled into her house, there was no doubt
she would finish him off, and she cocked the barrel of the rifle
with the intention of doing just that. She hesitated. What if
it was a Confederate soldier, and she fired? She would kill the
poor man without giving him the help she assumed he thought she
could provide. In the end, she concluded that she would turn with
weapon drawn, but not to shoot immediately.
pointed the weapon at the figure sprawled across her hallway,
the blue coloring of his uniform having already caught the corner
of her eye. She reached her finger to the trigger when he suddenly
looked up. She froze, the familiar eyes of the Union soldier willing
her entire body to cease movement.
she sighed, her mind, for a moment, forgetting the things he had
said days earlier. He had managed to pull himself up slightly,
and she noticed the wound to his upper leg, his blood staining
his uniform and the wood floors of her hallway. She slid over
to him, her hand pressing against the wound. "You're hurt
looked up at her, his eyes trying to find where her compassion
was emanating from, and how not to spoil it once again. "Yeah,"
he replied. "I think it went in and out."
fingers pulled back the fabric of his uniform already torn by
the bullet. Her hands were already covered in his blood, and it
was smearing on the white shift she wore. "You need to get
this bandaged up quickly," she said, using the edge of her
skirt to suck up some of the still-wet blood. "If you don't,
you're going to lose too much blood or the wound'll get infected."
then proceeded to tear the pant leg further, her bloody hands
reaching behind his leg. She felt more warm blood on her fingertips,
and she felt Levi wince and tighten his muscles as her fingers
grazed the exit wound. Pulling her hands back, she took the hem
of her dress and began to tear it as well. She tore a large enough
strip to wrap around his leg.
know how to dress wounds, too?" He asked lightheartedly.
"I should have guessed you weren't an average girl."
He winced again as she began to wrap the strip around his legs.
didn't you go to the medic tent? You'd get this dressed up by
a professional," she asked as she dressed his wound, but
she was a fool if she didn't already know the answer. Her father
often spoke of the tent, how the smell of death exceeded even
that on the battlefield. A wound such as Levi's probably
would have resulted in an amputation.
Levi's hand fell on hers, clasping her fingers, smearing the blood
onto his own fingers. "I needed to see you. Make sure you
were all right."
froze, her eyes darting from the leg wound to Levi's eyes. He
was staring at her, the emotion behind his eyes so intense she
had to look away. The familiar feeling of awkwardness crept back
between them, and Sarah stumbled for words.
know now," he replied back, forcefully. Again, his voice
dropped to a dull whisper. Had she not been so close, the sound
of the guns would have drowned him out. "The thought that
you were hurt... I wouldn't be able to live with myself."
silence between them returned. She watched as he leaned in, standing
still as he leaned in closer. When his rough, chapped lips brushed
against her soft ones, she could only sit there. The kiss was
brief and brisk.
sorry," he said immediately, his eyes studying his wound
as his face flushed with embarrassment. "It's just... I don't
think I've ever felt this way about someone before."
snorted quietly. "But you don't know me!" she replied.
"And what about that girl you told me about, the one in Philadelphia,
the one you're engaged to? Don't you love her?"
course I do," he said, shaking his head, "but not like
I love you." His fingers grabbed her hands, clasping them
hard. She was unable to resist, her body frozen from the surprise
of his words. "Can you sit there and tell me you don't feel
the same way?"
could only bow her head and look away. She feared her words, feared
the truth they held in them. She wanted to spit a response back
to him, scream at him for jumping to such conclusions, hate him,
and yet, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was scared,
more scared than of any battle that waged outside. Inside, she
was scared of her emotions and feelings.
wasn't sure if she was supposed to agree with him or not. Instead,
her heart answered. She leaned forward again, pressing her lips
against his, and kissed him. To her surprise, and yet not, he
kissed her back, deepening it with each movement, trying desperately
to inch closer to her. She knew every movement of his leg sent
waves of pain through him, but he seemed immune.
fingers went to his face, cradling it in her palms and smearing
the blood on her fingers along his cheekbone and line of his jaw.
His own fingers did the same, his too covered in blood. In that
movement they branded each other with the bloodshed of the day.
broke away, his fingers soon grabbing hers, his mouth managing
to find an unbloodied portion of her hand and kissing it. "Run
away with me."
was shocked again. "What?"
away with me," he repeated. "I'll change my name and
we'll...we'll go North - New York - and get married and live forever."
shook her head. "I can't," she said, trying to think
straight, "I have a fiancé, Thomas York. And so do
you. I can't just abandon him."
instead, shook his head and smile slightly. "It doesn't matter.
She'll just think I got killed or something."
she said, trying to withdraw her hands, "I can't."
not? Don't you love me?"
bowed her head. "Yes," she said, finally admitting it
to both herself and him. "I do. But I can't just abandon
my life like that. I have responsibilities, to myself and to other
people, and so do you."
let her hands go as she finished, the finality of her remarks
setting in. His fingers reached the bandage around his leg wound,
and he quickly tied up the ends of the white strip, which was
now more stained with blood than it was white. Slowly, he stood,
carefully, making sure as to not put much weight on the wounded
his eyes once more to Sarah, he said, "I should go."
And then he slowly limped down the hallway, following the path
of his own blood that he had laid, his footsteps smearing the
stains as he walked.
made no attempt to follow him, muttering only "goodbye."
had offered lunch in Voyager's messhall to Lokal, and the Supervisor
had accepted with a nod and a smile. However, it did not take
even his telepathic powers to know that she was not purely interested
in small talk about repairs and such.
chose a table near the corner of the room, secluded from the prying
eyes and ears of the rest of the crew assembled there. She had
only sat for a moment when, already, Lokal began to speak.
is obvious these dreams are trying to tell you something,"
he commented. "I felt the need to teach."
contemplated the Supervisor. "But what good is a lesson if
the pupil doesn't understand?"
smiled. "True." He paused. "I get the sense the
man and the woman are opposites, no? Yet sometimes, they share
traits of one another."
nodded her head rather vigorously. "Yes, but I still don't
understand what it has to do with me."
sighed, as one would with a small child. She riffed at the condescending
gesture. "By understanding the dream, we are then able to
apply it to one's life. Draw parallels between the tales. Often
times such a sequence of dreams is but a parable to one's life."
he said, directing the conversation's topic back to his analysis,
"you may have to assist me, Captain, because I am unfamiliar
with the time of this dream." Janeway nodded her participation.
"Not only are they opposites in personality, they are opposites
in battle, correct?" She nodded. "Yet, when he is wounded,
instead of killing him as she should, she assists him. It would
seem she betrayed her loyalties. I get the sense she is a very
loyal person, yet she appears unable to hurt a soul, despite their
side in battle." He paused. "And he, he wishes not to
hurt a soul, but does so in the support of his cause, which is
something she doesn't support, correct?" Janeway nodded again.
"Then it would seem they both share a common dislike of war.
strikes me as being impulsive, as illustrated by his sudden declaration
of love and proposal to run away." He paused again, the faint
beginnings of a smile emerging on his lips. "She seems fascinated
by this impulsiveness, yet she feels her own responsibilities
to her family outweigh whatever interest in him she has. She hurt
him when she pushed him away. He felt ridiculed by her, despite
the fact that how she justified herself was, ultimately, correct."
Lokal's eyes found Janeway's, and he smiled. "Well, Captain,
I ask you now: can you find parallels in this story?"
felt exposed, horribly so, as if Lokal had just read her mind
and declared her inner thoughts to the ship's crew. Yet she knew
he hadn't, that what he said he had interpreted only from the
dream they had experienced. Or perhaps he had found those thoughts,
and had surreptitiously wound them into his interpretation. Janeway
chided herself, seeing the ridiculous nature of that accusation.
course she could draw parallels. How much more exact to the situation
with her Maquis be to that of her dream? And then the thought
crept back to her mind, thoughts she had struggled for years to
kill because of their inappropriate nature to her current situation.
Could the Maquis not be the parable, but this?
suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable to be near Lokal. How he
had read her... "No," she heard herself say, almost
too quickly for anyone to believe her. She stole a glance at Lokal's
face, a look of disbelief painted plainly across his face, yet
he said nothing. He simply smiled.
to Captain Janeway." Harry. Janeway reminded herself to commend
the ensign on his brilliant timing.
tapped her combadge. "Janeway here," she responded.
could almost hear the smile in the ensign's voice. "Captain,
I just received word from the away team that repairs and containment
on the colony are complete."
smiled, watching as Lokal seemed... relieved. "Have Tuvok
meet myself and Supervisor Lokal in Transporter Room One."
acknowledged the order and closed the comm channel. The two stood
from their table, making their way to the doors of the mess hall.
I guess we'll finish this later, Janeway thought as the doors
slid shut behind them.
three figures materialized directly inside the colony's power
center, and Janeway could hardly believe the change she saw. A
quick glance at Lokal, and she saw that he, too, could not believe
his eyes. What had once been a room charred black from the explosion
was as immaculate as possible.
lieutenant in charge of the away team stepped forward, her face
shining with a smile. "Supervisor," she said, and Lokal's
eyes snapped from his survey of the room to the young women, "we've
stabilized the structural integrity of this cavern and the surrounding
tunnels. Very little traces of radiation are left, and that which
remains are hardly harmful to your people. Your engineers assured
me that they would be able to fix the damaged reactor."
was shaking his head out of disbelief. "Thank you,"
he said, though his voice wavered and Janeway was sure he was
at a loss for words. "Thank you, Captain," he said again,
turning to face her, "I don't know if we can properly repay
you for the kindness you have bestowed upon us."
shook her head and smiled. "No payment is required, Supervisor."
sighed. "Then I shall offer our thanks and our friendship."
He extended his hand, and Janeway quickly followed, and they clasped
their hands together and both smiled.
soon sprang up between the away team and the Inryeth present.
The Supervisor took the time to shake each hand of the away team
as Janeway watched. As he finished with the final person - the
lieutenant in charge - he turned to Janeway and gestured for them
to step into a corner, in order to speak privately.
he said, his voice hushed so as not to draw attention to them,
"I hope I have helped you in a way that even measures half
to what you have done for us."
chuckled slightly. "You never did give us those star charts
simply stared at her, his eyes filled with a grin his face did
not otherwise show. "I never promised anything, Captain."
smiled warmly, though ducking her head. She contemplated the ground
for a moment, and then brought her eyes up again. "I do have
one final question," she said.
hesitated for a moment. "The woman... it seems she needs
resolution." She paused. "Does she?"
studied her for a moment, and she knew precisely what he was doing.
However, this time, she did not resist what she had previously
thought to be intruding eyes. This time, she wanted an honest
smiled. "That all depends on you, Captain."
stood once again in a room packed with darkness and silence, and
once again the company did not bother her. Instead, she found
the couch under the stars and slumped on it, her body sore with
all depends on you.* The answer had been cryptic at first, but
soon Lokal's words grew on her, and she came to realize their
meaning. Only she could embrace what she had learned, that these
dreams were more than her overactive imagination. Only she could
accept that, in some strange cosmic sense, it was her own life
unfolding as she slept. To get answers in this time was to accept
the nature of her dreams.
years now, the situation had remained unresolved, despite what
she may have told herself. Nothing was ever said about anything,
things were simply assumed and silently dropped. She yearned for
as much resolution unto herself as she did for the woman in her
mouth yawned, and she knew that now was the time. This was the
opportunity to resign to things out of her control, to let the
hand of time steer her course.
eyes began to slide shut, and she accepted...
out at the horizon, Sarah was sure she could make out the ghosts
of the battle she had witnessed, watching through clouds of smoke
as they fought and fell and fought and fell. This land, she knew,
would never be the same, and neither would she. Just the thought
of land brought back the memory of a
Lee had surrendered to General Grant two weeks ago. The war was,
by all means, officially over. It had taken its toll on the South,
on the people and the land, on the spirits of those who fought
here, for those who had lost a family member or a friend. It had
taken its toll on Sarah, too.
plantation had, for the most part, survived the war. President
Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation had bid goodbye to Linny and
her family, and Sarah was sad to see them go, watching as they
boarded the coach to their new home in New York City. They had
been more than what some had called them, they weren't just "slaves"
to Sarah. They had been family.
was gone. His own misguided revenge had backfired; the boy was
not cut out for war, and hadn't lasted more than two months before
he had been killed in battle. Of course, Sarah grieved, but a
part of her couldn't care less. He had been cocky, arrogant, and
had, in some twisted form of justice, gotten what he deserved.
was a figure on the horizon; his tall and lanky form set darkly
against the backdrop of the afternoon sun. Sarah, sitting lazily
on a bench on the very back edge of her property, straightened
as the yet-unknown figure moved towards her. And then he was closer,
the chocolate color of his hair reflecting vagrant rays of sunlight
in various directions, and his eyes...those eyes she could recognize
without a face...
Sullivan," she pronounced, standing.
stopped in front of her; his eyes now squinted at the sun positioned
behind her. "Sarah Biddle," he replied. "Or is
it Sarah York now?"
head bowed. "No, no." She knew he sensed her hesitation,
and she lifted her head to him, staring intently into his eyes,
her fingers winding and catching her knuckles as she fidgeted
out of anxiety. "Thomas got himself killed."
suddenly trapped her hands in his, her fingers ceasing their movement.
He brought them to his lips, kissing the fingertips with care,
making sure not to mention the diamond ring she still wore on
alone, then so am I." His remark granted him a quizzical
look from her face, and he continued. "'Member that girl
I told you about, the one up in Philadelphia?" She nodded.
"Well, it seems that when the war got too heavy and letter-writin'
wasn't exactly a priority, she took it as a sign of my death and
married Benjamin Hanover from down the street."
sorry," Sarah offered. "I guess you're right about us."
Levi said, but what he didn't say said more to her than his words
could ever do. She knew exactly why he was here, and yet, she
didn't. He had never struck her as being the predictable type,
but neither was she, for that matter.
tugged at his grasp, guiding him to the bench she had occupied.
As they sat, the words tumbled out her mouth before she had the
chance to put up the usual defense. "I've been thinkin',
about what you said." The words, she saw, meant little to
him. "The part about New York."
watched two things become of Levi's face. First, recognition skirted
across his eyes, his mind flashing back to the reckless moment
when he'd let his heart do the talking. But quickly following
the recognition, Sarah watched hope dance into his eyes, and she
couldn't hide the smile forming on her lips.
was hope she had been nursing inside of her since he had limped
quietly out her door that dismal day at dusk. Regret had always
clouded her, from the moment the battle ceased and the armies
limped in their respective directions. Then, she had felt lucky
for what she had - Thomas. And then he was gone, and she had nothing
but her memories and her self-pity.
then here he was, standing in front of her, the root of all those
emotions. God had taken pity on her and her foolish decision,
and given her a second chance, marching him straight to her. How
could she waste the chance, knowing the future she would likely
live if she did?
it's all right with you," she began, hesitating slightly,
"I was wondering if it wasn't too late to consider the option."
mouth became a huge smile, stretching almost up to his beautiful
green eyes, a relieved sigh escaping his lips. In an instant,
she was gathered in his embrace, his lips on the soft skin right
below her ear, pressing breathless kisses all the way down her
jaw, finally resting on her lips.
pulled away; his hands cupping her face like it was made of porcelain.
"There's only one condition." Her eyes became dark with
concern, but he simply smiled. "Promise me your first responsibility
will be me."
concern melted into relief, her eyes tearing up and her mouth
smiling. "I promise," she whispered, and he laughed,
embracing her again.
they settled into each other, hands intertwined, on the bench
overlooking the afternoon sun's slow descent into night. Together,
they looked ahead to a future, their future...
finality of the dream did not send Janeway waking in a start;
her brain frenzied as it processed the information. Instead, she
felt calm, resolved, not helping the small smile forming on her
she thought, it was a sign, a sign of her own impending resolution.
voice, it echoed in the quiet room, its inflections unaware of
the irony its timing held.
by: Tahlia Hein
Beta: Cimorene & Caffey
Producers: Thinkey, Anne Rose and Coral